think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
