She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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