do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
