yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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