South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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