I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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