We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
