Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
