at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
