shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
