you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
All I want is dick and wine.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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