I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
