And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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