Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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