p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
