the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
