NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
