Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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