I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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