is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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