just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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