garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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