They should really pass out barf bags in church
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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