HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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