see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
