wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
