i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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