you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Pants are for mortals
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
