Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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