Your face is a jimmy john
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
