Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
