Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
