Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
