When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
