I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All the doctor said was why
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize