Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Randomize
