somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
