Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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