i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
