8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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