Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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