bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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