My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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