Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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