Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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