Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
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The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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