My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Everclear isn't food dammit
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
