I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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