At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
