I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
