I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You were trust falling into bushes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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