glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
