The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the day after is always just damage control
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
