oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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