is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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