I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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