You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
