We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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