is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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