what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
