If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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