Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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