it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
