She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
bring money and cleavage
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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